8 Secrets To Self-Love

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We’re all familiar with the phrase: “You can’t love another until you learn to love yourself.”

As cliché as it is, behind every cliché there’s an element of truth. In this case, that truth is the importance of self-love. It’s the month and season of love.  And while it’s usual for us to think about this time as only being for romance and red roses. It really should be about love in all its forms.

How often do we stop to consider how much we love ourselves? I think it is about time we did. From a young age we are often taught that loving yourself is egotistical or narcissistic, but in fact it’s a central part of having well-balanced self-esteem and something that’s vital for our well-being.

Our self-esteem can effect everything in our lives, relationships, work, and our day to day life experiences. It can lead to a range of health problems.  So just why is it that many of us are hesitant to practice a bit of self-love? Are we worried about appearing vain or narcissistic?

Self-Love is not about being vain or self-absorbed. It is about being kind to the heart and soul of your being. Self- love provides you with self-confidence, self-worth and it will generally help you feel more positive.

Here are 8 secrets to self-love so that you can be kinder to yourself.

1) Boundaries

Setting boundaries is critical for self-love, so commit to setting firm boundaries with everyone in your life. It’s perfectly okay to say “no” more often in your life in order to reduce stress. When we don’t set boundaries, our schedules become unmanageable and we deplete ourselves. 

2) Forgive Yourself

We are so hard on ourselves. To truly love yourself you have to acknowledge that no human is perfect. We all make mistakes. Instead of critising yourself or beating yourself up over a situation. Reframe how you look at the situation. Don’t dwell on the mistake just see it as an experience and an opportunity to learn from it.

3) Pursue something that lights a spark within you

If you’ve always wanted to try yoga, tennis, cake decorating or scuba diving, show yourself some love by delving into your curiosity and doing it.  Go after the things that light you up or make you smile. Don’t live in mediocrity. Life is for living.

4) Childlike wonder 

As children, we are new to the world so we are filled with fascination when seeing and experiencing things for the first time. So much of life has a special spark if we fully invest in the moment. Re discover that childlike spirit of natural curiosity. At times we can live in our heads and forget that we live in the world. Open your eyes and appreciate something beautiful about the day, a frosty morning, the smell of freshly cut grass, the flowers in the park, a sunset. The list is endless.

5) Work on your self-trust

A great way to show yourself self-love is to trust yourself and your own instincts. You are most likely going to know what is best for you, and self-trust is a step to self-love. We can get caught up with what others think of us and want for us and at times neglect our own values and needs. Listen to your gut and trust how you feel.

6) Big be up book

Keep a big me up book of all the good and positive things you are, have done and achieved. This makes you feel good about yourself, and find happiness from what you have accomplished. We can sometimes focus on the negatives and forget about the positives, so this is a great way to remind yourself of what you have achieved.

6) Be unashamedly you

Act based on who you are not based on who/what you think others want you to be.

7) Let go of perfectionism 

In our hectic worlds, we can feel pressured to be perfect parents, friends, colleagues, partners, and often all at once. 

Comparing ourselves to others is a fast-track ticket to disappointment.  Remember that everyone started somewhere, everyone is at a different stage and everyone works from their own set of values. Your uniqueness and authenticity are what people love about you, not how far you fit a certain standard.

8) Bliss Points

Schedule joy into your day. Our lives are busy with work, home and family life. When we think of bliss we typically imagine ourselves on a beach soaking up the sun. If you’re busy lifestyle has you running on empty. Build in some bliss points into your daily routine; things to look forward to; a favourite hot drink, a walk in the park, a chapter of a new book etc. Find out what works for you. Anything that helps to boost our mood. 

Sinéad xx

Sinead ManganComment